Strip 034 - "She wants to see them"

19th Jun 2014, 1:53 AM in Forest of Doom
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guy 19th Jun 2014, 2:25 PM edit delete reply

I'm guessing that intelligence is a pretty common dumb stat with these guys.
Story time today is about low-int PCs, and the consequences of being force to role-play them accurately.
Inbetweenaction 29th Sep 2014, 7:59 PM edit delete reply

"The most holy demoncarrier"
Being a virtuous paladin, Aja needed to make sure that justice was carried out without any possible prejudgment due to the race of the accused.

This led him to some problem when he started his path to fame, and faced demons. Clearly, those creatures had to be judged for the crime of being evil demons, but he didn't quite trust that the townspeople would give a fair trial to a demon charged with being a demon(seeing how they executed the last five monsters he brought them for trial without giving the accused (charged for being monsters) the 3 month period for callanging the ruling)

Being lawful good, but not to bright, he had no problem with the rouges suggestion that if he was going to carry a backpack full of demonic creatures and feed them, atleast they could work for their food like the good people of his hamlet had done.

and that is how a paladin ended up with a backpack full of groaning and screaming demons (he broke and amputated their limbs so they would stop flying away), wielding a necromantic blade pulsating with evil energy and a demon possesed armor walked into the high tempel, and demanded a fair trial...
Disloyal Subject 18th Nov 2014, 9:58 AM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
"I. Am. TARDY!"
The first character I ever played had 18 or better in every stat except for Wisdom, which was somewhere between 4 and 8. I took a feat to substitute my twentysomething Intelligence (main class was wizard) for purposes of Will saves and most skill checks, but I still slipped in that he was a little loopy. For instance, when I drew a blank for what to say to the rogue I was bluffing, I decided to punch him in the face with my Fighter levels. He used Uncanny Dodge to retain his DEX bonus, ducking the punch and ramming a knife between my ribs. Sneak Attacks HURT.
Raxon 19th Jun 2014, 5:28 PM edit delete reply
Low int pcs? You mean like my retarded sorcerer?

Actually mentally retarded, by the way. She needed help getting dressed. And if she threw a tantrum, run.

I didn't play her long, because the others took advantage of my character being mentally handicapped. Including the bard, who decided to use her impaired nature to sleep with her. When they decided having a retarded member was a liability, they just decided not to rez me after an especially hairy battle where I saved their butts and she told the bard she loved him as her dying words.

They promptly gave her a funeral pyre, despite having more than enough in what should have been her share of the loot to rez her. If they gave her fair shares, that is. She got maybe ten gold to spend in towns, and was woefully underequipped.

The whole reason I died is that someone had been using my emergency fireball wand and didn't tell me, so I got a note from the DM that the wand didn't work. I didn't game with them again for a week, where I brought an evil, minmaxed character so broken he killed them, took all their stuff, paid for a wish spell to resurrect my previous character, and trained her into a ruthless killing machine that steamrolled the others and bullied them mercilessly.
LostDeviljho 19th Jun 2014, 6:10 PM edit delete reply

I applaud you sir!
Fellow 20th Jun 2014, 8:44 AM edit delete reply

You're play a mentally retarded character and someone decides to try and trick you into sleeping with them? That sounds really unconfortable. Good on you for giving them a sound trolling.
Raxon 20th Jun 2014, 5:29 PM edit delete reply
Having been rather, errr, fond of someone mentally challenged back during my teen years, there is a special place in my wrath for people who would take advantage of that in a sexual way.
One For the Road 20th Jun 2014, 8:47 AM edit delete reply

I tend not to use INT as my dump stat, even when playing warrior types, but I've got a story.

I was playing a human illusionist in a party of mostly intelligent and capable characters-with two exceptions. We had an Ibixian (goatfolk) barbarian and a gnome rogue, both of whom had lower than average wisdom and intelligence. Though we started out fairly smoothly, it soon became readily apparent that we weren't adventuring WITH them so much as DESPITE them. Things like trying to stab us with weapons so we didn't drop them, taking our gold and spending it on ridiculous mundane items, and throwing an IC tantrum ever time we tried to keep them from doing something that would get us all killed. Didn't help that our gnome was beginning to show signs of metamorphosing into that most hated of creatures, a Kender.

Still, we managed to press on fairly well, at least until the session that we had to infiltrate a nobleman's ball. We were all wanted by the (highly corrupt) local government, so we were all very well hidden as we looked for the traitor who was seeking to kill off the royal family.

Or so we thought.

Turns out, our two nitwits had given notes to the DM, saying that if the rest of us were so intent on surveillance, it should be easy for them to sneak away, right? Unfortunately, he agreed with them, and with great horror on all our accounts, the party was crashed by a goatman with a top hat and false beard and a gnome with a dress clearly made for someone taller than 3'6" (apparently she intended for the goatfolk to carry her about at eye level). We were immediately discovered, and had to fight a very difficult and very bloody battle to escape. Naturally, THEY survived.

Everything was downhill from there. No more thoughts of the campaign objective, we were just getting the hell out of dodge-we were so desperate, we even got on a boat, a mistake that has claimed the characters of even experienced players. Alas, the DM didn't have time to throw a zombie Loch Ness monster at us or anything, because the gnomeKender swiftly set about stealing everyone's shit and trying to light the boat on fire when she got caught. With the goatfolk swiftly burning to death, it was only a matter of punting the little mutant off the deck into the ocean, where she was devoured by a passing dragon turtle (courtesy of the DM).

The campaign ended shortly thereafter, with the story in shambles and no one in particular wanting to make the gargantuan effort to get back on track. The group let the two players know that the next time they wanted to play self-destructive idiots, they would skip the "campaign blowing up" phase and go straight to the "murder" phase.

As for myself, the majestic sight of a kender being devoured by a dragon turtle filled my illusionist with such awe, he was inspired to start his own religion. For a long while afterwards, every character I rolled up was a practicing member of the Church of the Briny Shell, dedicated to the worship of dragon turtles. Practices included finding the stupidest gnome around and feeding it to one of the great beasts.
Disloyal Subject 18th Nov 2014, 9:51 AM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
Oh hell. That's as good as the Church of Potato!
Didn't know about Ibixians before now. Maybe I'll roll one up to redeem them of that idiot; I'm predominantly familiar with the more intelligent breeds of goat anyway.
Bacchante 20th Jun 2014, 10:32 PM edit delete reply

I've created a character who was low Int and, worse, had a major penalty to Sense Motive. But a ludicrously high Diplomacy check. She kept being so impossibly earnest with people trying to bilk her that they came clean. Then she forgave them. With equally ludicrous amounts of firepower.
Ilmaros 21st Jun 2014, 6:13 PM edit delete reply

Well, regarding to low INT characters, the dumbest ones i've played (along with a friend) are were the orc twin barbarians Thog and Zog, wich became notorious for being tricked into thinking they were actually gnomes who had become big because of their diet based in orcish food. Obviosly, in the end our low INT led to our demise since we decided to kill every orc in sight in revenge for the opressed gnomes (damn cleric of Garl and his ideas of a joke) in front of an orcish stronghold (wich was originally a dwarven one, so you can imagine how meek it was). The fun part of it, though, is that we manage to break the fortress front door and actually scare the hell out of the orcs inside just before deciding it was a brilliant idea to charge through a rope bridge against the orc on the other side (who started to sever the ropes right away, thus causing us to fall to death into the depths of earth).

On a side note, i also have another character that could almost (at least in appearance, before you actually get to know him) fit into this, but mostly because of an excesively high INT, WIS and CHA (100 of each, thanks to an epic spell with a duration of a year). The guy is a liche who is able to travel through time and is so smart and wise he seems to be an utter crazy fool with idiotic ideas wich only work thanks to his absurdly high power output when it comes to spellcasting (epic or otherwise).
JET73L 18th May 2015, 4:22 PM edit delete reply

I've never dumped INT. Even my Bearbarian had above-average intelligence. I have dumped WIS, though, and roleplayed it to the best of my abilities each time. I've started working up level 1 player characters based on myself for 3.5 and Pathfinder, and both of them are high-INT, abysmal-WIS Archivists. (I didn't start out looking for the Archivist in Pathfinder, it's just a coincidence that the best class for me in Pathfinder, a Bard build with focos on oration instead of playing an instrument, has the same name as the 3.5 Divine Wizard.)

I am going to make a low-INT, low-WIS Shifter as soon as I get my laptop back from the shop. He or she is going to be the tank and source of local information in a one-shot designed to help two friends get used to Pathfinder before they join the regular group.
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