Strip 071 - "Well... that's kind of embarrassing"

13th Sep 2014, 12:00 AM in Forest of Doom
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dragonbrain 13th Sep 2014, 12:19 AM edit delete reply

Oh the irony. Beating Raxon to the punch, tell a story about two or more critical failures back-to-back.
Raxon 13th Sep 2014, 2:32 AM edit delete reply
I have one for you.

Critical fail on a diplomacy. I pulled out my diplomatic fumble chart. the DM was, naturally flabbergasted at this, and told me that a natural one just meant I failed. No, I wouldn't have any of that. I rolled on the fumble chart, and it turns out in the middle of my speech, I accidentally cast a spell and set myself on fire. I then proceeded to run around in a blind panic, and set several things on fire, including the princess. She then had to be stripped out of her burning dress, leaving her indecent in front of everyone before being lead away. in the mean time, someone poured a bucket of water on me, and put the fire out.

"Okay, that doesn't work. I'll try intimidation next." "Umm, are you sure?" "I'm sure."

So my dude, with his face and hair burnt away, immediately after accidentally immolating himself, tries to intimidate the king. I roll a natural one. Again. I pull out a fumble chart for intimidation. I rolled on it, much to the amusement of the others, and then I tripped and impaled myself on my own staff, ending up in the fetal position, sobbing after someone yanked it out.

The king took pity on me, and only me, and called for the country's greatest cleric. Surely I must be cursed by such horrifying bad luck.

The tank asked the king if we could do the mission to make up for the trouble I caused, and he gets a natural twenty.
Zombie Bait 13th Sep 2014, 3:59 AM edit delete reply

We had one guy get 3 crit fails on three successive drive rolls in a Zombie Apocalypse d20 modern game...
DeS_Tructive 13th Sep 2014, 1:13 PM edit delete reply
In our superhero covert ops campaign, our sniper (!) used her rifle with dozens of mods, spent the maximum amount of rounds aiming, finally rolls to hit... BOTCH. Instead of hitting the robber, she one-hits the hostage shopkeeper. She gets lucky on initiative and is able to squeeze off another shot on the terrorist before he acts. Another botch, the customer dies. "Well, at least now we can use explosives."
Some Random Person... 15th Sep 2014, 3:53 AM edit delete reply

Ahh, Critical Failures... The story will be close enough for story time. Well, to start with, I'll put up some background info. Dice love me and hate me at the same time. I very rarely roll "average" rolls. I'm always at one end of the spectrum or the other, often both at the same time. [The amount of nat 1's to (fail to) confirm criticals from nat 20's is too damn high] My DM uses player rolls for random encounter charts. Whenever he wants something interesting he always asks me to roll.

So this goes back to my first ever in-person game I played of D&D [Pathfinder to be specific]. We started at level 5 because we were playing a module the GM had as a one shot since my sister and I were visiting him and both played. Our first encounter is a night raid by bandits. I'm playing a Ranger with 2 Bastard Swords and functioned as backup tank/dps [Our tank was a GM homebrewed monstrosity played by someone else. Story for another time] So our bard on watch notices the bandits sneaking into the supersized tent the party was using. [Perhaps what attracted the bandits in the first place], and obviously wakes the party up after hitting them with a Glitterdust spell. The rest of the party and myself start to wake up, and the bandits get the first turn, where most of them are blinded, but the halfling bandit leader[For the campaign there was a 25% anyone encountered would be a halfling, part of the story involving the tank] comes in and crits my animal companion down to -8 hp. Naturally, in revenge, I jump over my bleeding animal companion to attack the bandit leader. I pull out a nat 20 with another nat 20 to confirm. First rolls of the campaign[This was before we knew my dice luck]. I end up dropping the Bandit leader in a single strike by taking off his head[Critical tables in effect]. The next round I move to attack one of the guys that had started coming in through holes they were putting in the tent. Out come the d20, and it's a nat 1. Roll to confirm fumble, nat 1. Gm tells me to roll a D% to see what happens. 100, was told I needed under 23 to avoid anything bad. Turns out I end up hitting myself with my other sword as the first one gets stuck in the tent fabric as my character reaches with the other hand to help pull it free. I'm told to roll an attack against myself. This is where the 20s came back. 2 20's to confirm a critical hit against myself and nearly sever my hand.

Dice, can't live with them, can't live without them.
PauloFrota 12th Nov 2014, 6:45 PM edit delete reply

This is probably the funniest webcomic I've read in years - and half of it is because of the comments.

Congrats to you all.
Disloyal Subject 18th Nov 2014, 8:08 PM edit delete reply
Disloyal Subject
Welcome to ComicFury's d20 comics. DragonTrainer's other one, Grand Line 3.5, is as good, and Newbiespud's Friendship is Dragons is a behemoth when it comes to commenting readership.
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